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Sunday, December 27, 2009

Mtoto wa jirani

Kwanini umenipigia mwanangu?’ Lilikuwa swali ambalo limetokana na ugomvi wa majirani wa wawili. Akina mama hawa walizozana hadi kuanza kushikana, na bahati nzuri waume zao siku hiyo walikuwepo ikabidi waingilie kati.


‘Hebu tuambieni ugomvi huu chanzo chake ni nini? Mmoja wa wamuzi wa huo ugomvi aliuliza. Alikuwa mzee wa heshima na wengi walikuwa wakimheshimu. Aliwageukiwa waume wa wale wake, ambao kwa muda mwingi walikuwa kimya wakiwaangalia wake zao wakitupiana maneno.

‘Chanzo cha ugomvi huu ni watoto, wamekutwa wakifanya vitendo viovu, na jirani yetu akawaadhibu, namshukuru sana kuwa aliwatandika vizuri wtoto hawa na hataingekuwa mimi nigefanya hivyohivyo, lakini cha ajabu mke wangu hakuridhika na hilo, akaanza kuzozana na mke wa jirani yangu, nafikiri kuna kisa na sidhani hili ndilo lilosababishja haya yote’ alisema mmoja wa waume wa wanawake waliopigana.

‘Hakuna chanzo kingine, mimi imeniuma mwanagu kuchapwa, hadi kuumia mbona mwanae hakuumia, ina maana amemuonea mwanagu kuliko. Kama wamekosa angekuja aniambie kwanza, na mimi ningemuadhibu mwenyewe’ alijitetea mmoja wa wanawake wale.

‘Mtoto wako ni wangu, kosa limefanywa wakiwa wote, ndio maana wote wakachapwa, na hakuna aliyechapwa zaidi, na kwanini mpaka tuje tukuambie, mfano lingetokea tatizo la mwanao ambalo linahitaji msaada wa haraka, tungesubiri mpaka tukuambia’ yule mwanamke mwingine naye aliingilia kati.

Mjadala huu uliwakusanya majirani na wapiti njia na kila mmoja alitoa hoja yake, wengine walipinga kitendo cha kuchapwa wale watoto, wengine walikiunga mkono. Swali likabakia je ukimuoana mtoto wa jirani yako anafanya machafu una haki ya kumwadhibu kama unavyoadhibu watoto wako?

Kwenye mashule mengi adhabu ya viboko imeondolewa kwa sababu wengine wanavyodai inakiuka haki za watoto. Tujiulize sie ambao tuliokulia kizazi cha nyuma , tunataka hii jamii yetu ikue kinamna ipi, je viboko na adhabu tulizo kuwa tukizipata mashuleni au kwa wazazi majirani zetu zilitusaidi au zilitupotosha? Je jamii hii ya sasa nay a zamani kimaadili ni ipi ilikuwa bora?

Mtoto kama alivyo yeye hajajua jipi jema na baya, na mara nyingi mabaya ndiyo yanapendelewa zaidi na watoto kuliko mazuri. Watoto wengi sio waoga kufanya machafu na kama hakuna kitu cha kuwaadhibu wao wanajionea ni jambo la kawaida tu. Ni vyema wazazi tukatafakari zaidi jinsi ya kuwajenga watoto wetu kimaadili kuliko kuiga taratibu nyingine za kimagharibi. Wazazi wan chi za magharibi wengi wa zamani wanajuta hiyo hali inayowatawala hivi sasa, kwani wakati mwingine mzazi anakuwa hana maamuzi kwa mwanae, kwasababu ya sheria zilizowekwa.

Swali linakuja kuwa kwa mwanao ni rahisi kumjenga na kumwadhibu upendavyo , lakini yupo mtoto wa jirani kaja anacheza na mtoto wako na umewaona wanafanya vitendo vichafu ambavyo viaweza kumharibu mtoto wako je utafanyeje? Kama utamchukua mtoto wako na kumadhibu, huoni pia kuwa kesho mtoto yule wa jirani atakucha na mchezo huo na kumshawishi mwanao aendelee na hii inaweza kujenga kiburi baadaye.

Kwa uoni wangu wewe kama mzazi ukiona watoto wanafanya maovu kwasababu ni watoto, unahaki kama mzazi kuwaadhibu watoto wote na kuwaonya ubaya wakile wanachokifanya. Nazungumza hivi nikiwa na mifano dhahiri iliyotukuta sie tuliwa watoto, tuliadhibiwa na wazazi sio wetu na sasa hivi tukikumbuka tunawashukuru sana wale wazazi ambao walikuwa sio baba zetu au mama zetu.

Mtoto akikosa muonyeshe kosa lake pale pale ili ajifunze, tusikae kusubiri eti mpaka baba yake arudi , au mpaka jirani yako arudi, atajifunzaje kuhusiana na lile kosa? Tukumbuke samaki hukunjwa akiwa mbichi.

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